yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he was CRYING into my vagina
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
