I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
