I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
