Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
