Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
