so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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