you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
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Do I have a choice?
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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