So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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