I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
