the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
