how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
