69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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