I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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