clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize