Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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