Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
