I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Farmville is her only friend.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
