You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Swine flu is the new snow day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize