Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize