I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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