I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize