Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize