A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He shit in the fireplace
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm really busy with my period
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