i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
time to smoke my breakfast
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
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I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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