Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
