i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
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So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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