Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
