i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
