apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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