Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I will pee on everything he values.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
