sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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