she looked like the before picture.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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