In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize