I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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