i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
please don't ironically join a cult
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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