Can i not drive my cunt home
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
