One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
