So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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