Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
