I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i will never coherently bang her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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