I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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