Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I will pee on everything he values.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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