he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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