A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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