no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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