Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
