escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after