If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar