I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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