Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
