So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
