You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
