My nipple is on Facebook.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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