Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dude. I can hear the air.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
