He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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