Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize