somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
vagina is talking i cant
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
