i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize